If you haven’t been to the Alps before, Swiss, French, German, Austrian or Italian, then I’ll have you know that they are large. (Large enough to pass through those 5 countries, and a few others.)

We are staying in Nendaz, which is in Switzerland. Our place is called Chalet Natacha and was rented to us by a company called Interhome. Chalet Natacha’s name reminds me of Russian girls (pretty ones). To be clear, there are no Russian women staying in our chalet. Chalet Natacha rests on a steep hill, which is actually more aptly referred to as an impenetrable fortress of a mountain. You may try to drive your car up to Chalet Natacha, but you will slide backwards, forever and always. So you park at the bottom of the hill and walk up. And we’re gonna call that exercise.

My little Russian woman loves views. In fact, this is what she offers us from the living room:

Despite the terrible view, we are still having a grandiose ol’ time. I’ve had no problems maintaing my diet from the Whole Life Challenge. Because all of Europe, especially France, Italy and Switzerland are known for their Paleo-only menu selections and their general disdain for wine, cheese and chocolate. My one major obstacle right now is that I’m supposed to be on a diet. I am basically slapping bread out of the hands that try to feed it to me. In lieu of bread, I have chosen air as my primary form of sustenance. So far I’ve lost all of my weight. I suspect I will perish shortly.

This is a joke. I’ve broken lots of my dietary restriction rules and now have “CD” (Carpe Diem) stamped on my forehead. Skiing is the name of the game here, and that’s what I came to do.

“I’ll take my skiing with some ice,

please, snowtender.”

My first day of skiing and I was questioning my equipment selection. I thought I should have brought my ice skates and Kristi Yamaguchi out there with me.

I didn’t take a lot of photos because the conditions were marginal and I was still jetlagged. When you’re jetlagged, you forget how to use cameras, duh.