Food, Random

Day 4, Lost in a Sea of “Bad” Food

Dearest Isabella,

Our ship capsized over the Atlantic very near the Titanic and it was quite frigid in the water. I can only say that I survived by eating others in the life raft.

Dearest Isabella,

I arrived at work yesterday and found a mysterious brown bag sitting on my desk, motionless. I resolved to investigate this paper parcel in an effort to fully realize the contents within. What I found was most disturbing. Please see Exhibit A:

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Most mysterious and mischievous.

By now, you must understand my overwhelming consternation that was coursing through the veins of my living self.


What devilish soul would impart such a gift upon me. They must know that I am not allowed even a morsel of this catastrophic carbohydrate to enter my mouth. And yet they did it anyway. Cruel (and most unusual!).

Yet I will have you know that I was not led into temptation by the flour-filled flavorful snack of the demon gods. I stood steady on my ground and passed the bag to another traveler, and perhaps their own temptations led them to damnation. I cannot say for sure. But darling Isabel, I must go to bed now.

With love,

Sir Alexander of Paleo (King of the 20 Kingdoms of Kingdoms of the North and South and East and West, 5th Lord to the Second Brother of Charles, and 19th Cousin to the Lady Mary)


The Whole Life Challenge: You Mean I Can’t Eat Pizza?

I’m doing the Whole Life Challenge and it has yet to be determined whether it is the best or worst decision I’ve made in my life.

Reasons it Could Be the Worst

I can’t eat any of these things:


Now you see ’em, now you can’t frickin’ eat ’em.


Pizza? That stuff sucks. I hate it.


I hate pizza so much that I eat it a lot.


Pancakes? Nope. Definitely rhymes with “nope.”

more cookie

Powdered sugar is out. So are empanadas. But I can stare at them. Forever.


Käsespätzle is also a “no,” and it doesn’t matter how sexy the girl is that makes it for you.


I scream, you scream, we — “dude stop screaming”


Cookies! 🙂

cookie happy

Cookies! 😦


Gummy bears? No. Real bears? Yes, but you have to kill them with your bare hands.


Bread and cheese. Those things suck together.


Who needs alcohol when you can have water?


Can’t have beer. Can have powder.


In burritos we trust.

Reasons it Could Be the Best

It’s challenging. And for people that like challenges, that’s enough.

What I Ate On Day 1/2

Day 1

  • 2 hard-boiled eggs
  • 1 protein shake with 22G protein
  • 1 banana
  • 1/2 chicken
  • 1/3 of a Sweet potato
  • 1 side salad.
  • 1 coffee
  • 3 + liters of water

Day 2:

  • 2 chicken breasts
  • 1/2 chicken
  • 1 side salad
  • 3 bananas (2 in the morning, 1 in the evening)
  • 1/2 a can of sardines.
  • 1.5 coffees
  • 3 + liters of water

As you can see, I’m probably lacking protein.